There are some reasons why we always hide those true and sincere feelings. Feelings are fragile and we don’t want somebody to tear or break our hearts again. But some times, we can’t control what we try to take care of because of too much expectations and too much pride. The only thing that has keeping us strong and happy, is the trust on ourselves and the fear to lose someone special again.
I’m typing this down not because I want to, but because I just can’t help it. I don’t even know what I’m saying here, but I really feel less important. Maybe in some point, I need to vent this thing out.
These past few days, I’ve been craving something unusual, something I’ve never taste in my entire life. Don’t ask me what, because I don’t know either. Well, another apology for not posting on here. My life behind this screen has been so tough. If only I could ask God to stop the time for me, I would. I have free times, but I’m using it for school agendas too. College life is really trying me.
The spirit within me took me by surprise, the last week. I wasn’t feeling well, but my body has survived it anyway. I want to tell you how relieved I am because midterm is halfway done. I might expect more meetings with friends, and dates. I’m available if you want to be with me too.
I might post later again. Thank you for reading! :)
Hello dear readers! Sorry for being MIA the past few weeks. I have been fighting for life. Hahaha! Kidding! But first, I want to apologize for the inconvenience of my blog, I was looking for a new theme that might complement my taste but I couldn’t make a decision for it, and I was not in the mood to tweak a theme. Well, this is the cause for being so stress at school. I might update more often here now, because I really, truly miss blogging. I’m thinking of making a change, again, for good. It is not literally changing everything, I was just thinking about making it a happier blog than it used to be; full of life, love and smiles. A blog that I’ve been trying to make but I couldn’t. Now, I’ll try.
There are many agendas going on with my life now, and I guess I really have to stay busy, no choice. To my surprise, I am more worried about the future. It seems to be, my goals and dreams are my priority. It should be. Let’s see where would this bring me.
I’m in love now, who could have noticed that? I am happy, really happy. I wish this could be a new beginning for me, the new change I want to have. I still have this fear that he might leave me too, but I have to be positive that not everyone will leave me, and not everything I could have is for me to be wretched. All I can say is that, my heart is happy, and I know someone is happy to be with me too.
Few months ago, I made myself happy and free. Most of the times, I hang out with people. I took the challenge of being single and contended. I didn’t need anything more than myself. I loved my life, I appreciate the gift, I treasure every moments. And as time passes by, I’m becoming more anxious about choosing to be happy or lying to myself. I was indeed happy, but in my heart I was longing for love and sincerity.
A year back, I was in grieved. I felt like dying. Until one day, I trusted God about what happened that he has better plans for me. I was not wrong about it; the wrong thing there is that was living in lies. My happiness isn’t real, my smiles are slightly true and I’m unsure. In my mind, things would become better if I let go easily. And for so many reasons, I tried. God knows how much I suffered because of making smiles worthwhile.
And now, I will leave the past behind. I will let go of the burden. I found myself loving again. But in the end, I still choose to be happy, as what I think I deserve. My past and my present is still my future. I am not regretting anything, I am happy about everything.